How the Cosmos came to inhabit me

One dark Boxing Day in 1984, my brother got a telescope for his birthday.  From that night on he spent hours at his bedroom window staring out at the night sky.  I tried to take an interest, tugging at his sleeve to get a look, but to my dismay I couldn't see any of the stars he tried to show me.  My brother seemed to grow even more clever and intellectual after that, and I wasn't quite able to forgive the cosmos for stealing him away.

Years later, like many teenagers, I was interested in Astrology, but soon I tired of all the jargon.  Technical terms such as "House of Mars" and "Mercury in retrograde" left me longing for the simple joy of my sketchbook or good novel. 

It wasn't until decades later when I watched a video about Quantum Physics that I suddenly became hooked on the exciting information I was hearing.  It wasn't because I fully understood it (they say if you think you understand Quantum Physics you know nothing at all), but it piqued my imagination in a way that hadn't happened in years, maybe ever.  

There are parallel, possibly infinite, universes...  

Our universe consists mostly of void...  

The void is not empty...

I found myself relating the equations and contradictions of the quantum realm to what I believed spiritually in my own life.  Suddenly the cosmos was Great Mystery, Source, God. 

In Quantum Physics I found personal insight into my place here on Earth.  I'm tiny, but not the smallest.  I'm mortal and yet infinite.  I am aging but there is no such thing as time...  

I had a deep yearning to respond to this wisdom, this innate knowing.  I wanted to create my own equations using other symbols.  I started to create repeating patterns. Every day for months I would cut shapes from paper, for hours and hours at a time.  Looking at the result of my work (thousands of 1cm symbols cut from newspapers stacked into piles), I felt I might be going insane. 

But it wasn't a tale of cosmology I was attempting to create. I was trying to share my own personal history, my autobiography, using the science of quantum physics.  The very act of cutting these shapes was part of the human story.  This was what it meant for me to be alive.


Connect with Nina Couser and view all artworks:

Website: Nina Couser Art

Instagram: @ninacouserart



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